Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Power of Presence.

I had a conversation with an “old” friend on Friday. We were camp buddies throughout elementary and junior high school. For a brief moment, we remembered Sugar Creek Camp and I specifically remembered Elizabeth Davey, my beloved camp counselor. I remember Elizabeth for helping me and another camper pull pranks on the other counselors (most likely to avoid being pranked herself). Mostly though, I remember Elizabeth for sitting beside me in silence as I searched for words to describe my inner experience. Those words never came in the six summers I attended camp, but Elizabeth did not seem to mind. She sat there; often in silence.

There are others in my life who have granted me the grace and blessing of presence – Lois Deyo, Lori Phillips, Karen Hartmann . . . just to name a few. These are women who loved without conditions and gave with no expectations. I remember intentionally getting in trouble in the sixth grade only to have a “bathroom lecture” from Mrs. Deyo. It was usually the same, “I am disappointed with the choices you are making, but know that I love you anyway.” I had no response at the time, but I craved that loving attention. Like my wordless experience of adolescence, my gratitude for the countless gifts is also beyond words.

Our culture promotes easy fixes. Television shows resolve themselves. When there is a conflict or crisis, the sappy music will cue, people will hug, and all will return to simple happiness. We like things nice and neat. We are a brilliant culture with many resources to problem solve. But sometimes, there are no words. There are no quick fixed. There are no bows to wrap around the packages. Sometimes, the problems are messy and complicated. Sometimes, no words can make the suffering go away. But being a loving, silent presence with another plants seeds of hope and healing.

I think of the people I have encountered who say, “I want to help. Give me something to do.” Sometimes, there is nothing to “do.” What is needed are people willing to simply “be.” To sit with someone in silence and be the physical manifestation of grace and peace, this is a great act of service. It comes with no immediate results or grand effects. We may never see the impact of our gift of presence. We may never get the credit or the glory. But being present may be the only Christ others experience.

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