Can They All Be Redeemed?

I sat with a group of students today who stated they would rather die than have their name disrespected. They went on to explain that they had “worked hard to build up their reputation” and they would not allow others to make them look foolish. These students reminded me that I do not walk the streets of their neighborhood. They told me I could not possibly understand what it is like to have someone disrespect them in the presence of women and other onlookers. They are partially right. I do not live in a violent neighborhood where the strongest survive and displaying vulnerability could cost one their life. I do not have parents that expect me to fight and would be ashamed if I walked away. I believe in turning the other cheek and walking away from violence. These students stated they “could not look themselves in the mirror” had they walked away from defending their reputation. I would be ashamed if I had fought back.


And then I ponder. These children are handed a script of values. Their parts require a willingness to engage in violence and condone parental irresponsibility (e.g. parents who are abusive, neglectful, and often prioritize their own substance abuse over their children’s welfare.) Is it possible for these children to rebel against the societal/familial script and embrace a part that respects all life, including the life of an enemy? Is there a hope for these children beyond a life of crime, prison, chemical substance abuse, and violent deaths? Can they be redeemed?

I like to believe that all are redeemable, but then I ask, redeemed to what? Redeemed to a life of achievement and social success? I struggle with imposing my own values onto others, specifically the value of hard work and good citizenship. Should everyone contribute to society in a way that is positive and productive? Maybe.

Despite the complicated questions, I am reminded of what is common between these students and my own life. We are rebels against that which institutions expect of us. I was expected to stay close to home and live in suburbia and instead spent one summer living in a tent in Tijuana, Mexico and a year in Vietnam. Not exactly conventional. And while I now live in a vinyl village in the midst of American suburbia, I still look for ways to fight for social injustice and the cycles of poverty. We share in our intention to stand strong for our values and fight for that which we find meaningful. I remember vividly sitting in a high school classroom where the teacher and students were displaying a strong desire to “stone the homosexuals” and I stood alone and asked about the missing grace and love. I stood against what was expected within the walls of my private school because of my belief. Had I chosen to remain silent, I would have been ashamed.

Ultimately, I do believe there are better lifestyle choices. Though these students place high value on maintaining respect, I do not believe that violence is justified. Violence leads to more violence. Crime leads to more crime. My wish is that someday we can embrace our common brokenness. Under the anger and the attitude are hurting, lonely children. As I confronted my own anger, I encountered hurt, grief, and loneliness. Our difference – I also encountered safety, support, and grace. I wonder if these students will ever find emotional safety. Will they find the courage to encounter their own brokenness and vulnerability? Will they find the place where they can encounter grace and redemption? Will I be an instrument in helping create space for vulnerability, or will I turn my back and write them off as unredeemable?