Some weeks ago, someone asked me to consider writing on the Ten Commandments. She noted that of the ten, several had commentaries or lengthy explanations with few exceptions (adultery, murder, and bearing false witness.) I loved the invitation to wrestle with my own thoughts on this subject. And being that I am one to wrestle, chew, and then wrestle some more on specific thoughts, I am finally ready to respond to the request.
The idea of following commandments strikes two struggles for me – obedience and authority. I do not think I am alone in my resistance towards surrendering my will towards another authority. Like many, I often would prefer to be my own god – be my own measure of what is right and wrong and choose my own path in life. After all, I am an intelligent, competent, strong woman who has a high moral ethic by which I follow. Surely the combination of these characteristics makes me quite suitable to be my own guide. And then again, perhaps not.
The life I would direct for myself is a good path. I believe in being a loving mother toward my children, a faithful and devoted wife to my husband, being compassionate towards those experiencing physical and emotional poverty. I have a strong work ethic that directs me to always doing my best and strives to avoid laziness. If I chose to be my own god, I am fairly confident that I would lead a worthwhile life and I would be known for a being a good person. But, I believe we are called to something more than a good life. I believe we are called to belong and be connected to something bigger than ourselves. Here is where obedience and Authority come in to play.
Obedience and submission to an Authority recognizes that there is a Way beyond what I can see and know. Following that Way, despite not fully understanding requires trust. I must recognize that my vision for my life and my understanding is limited. I must trust that what I cannot see is True.
Submission to an authority is counter toward my natural human instinct to keep my shame in hiding. From the time of Adam and Eve, humanity has worked hard to cover up our faults and shortcomings. We are natural deceivers, even to ourselves. It does not come natural for me to enjoy dwelling on all the ways my thoughts and actions have harmed other people (though I am fairly critical of myself when I do make a mistake). I much prefer to ignore my faults and focus on how awesome and great I am. It is easy to become proud and self-serving. As my own god, I do not have to address my ugliness. But in submitting to an Authority I must allow my dirty little secrets to be brought into the light.
Not long ago, I went to Confession to address my envy and pride. Confession is submitting to an authority. It is an act of letting another see the dark corners of my soul, and then submitting myself to their direction for reconciliation. From my vantage points, I saw my pride and envy as keeping me depressed and angry. Ironic that even my attempts at removing this sin from my life was still focused on me. Submitting to the authority and guidance of a priest serving as the Authority’s representative, I soon saw that my envy and pride kept me from being able to love. There is no room for love where envy and pride are present. My sin was not only hurting me, but what I failed to see was how my envious and proud thoughts were harming those around me. They were robbed of being loved – robbed of being treated with dignity and respect because I hated them for having such great things in their lives.
My envy led to a self-indulgent pity party. I focused on what I did not have; focused on the financial stress I experienced. I closed my eyes to the wealth and abundance I do have – a warm house, transportation, jobs, healthy children, the ability to afford health care, a loving spouse . . .. In my self-indulgence, I failed to see the poverty of those around me – to see the AIDS orphan, the hungry, the dying, the lonely, the cold . . .. The more energy I pour into dwelling on myself and/or covering up my ugliness, the less energy I have to pour into others. The world is robbed of compassion and love when I am my own god, my own measure of goodness, and my own director of my soul.
I believe that Christ called us to the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That if we submitted to his commands to love God with all of our being – soul, mind, and body, and if we truly loved our neighbor with a pure heart free of selfish motives to use or manipulate one another, then the Kingdom of heaven would be more visible here on earth. I believe there would be respect for personhood – that all people would matter and have dignity. If we can stop being our own gods and submit to a higher way, I believe poverty would be eradicated. Child abuse, murder, theft, rape . . . this would all go by the wayside. If only . . .. I believe this is the vision of Christ and His Kingdom.
May I follow completely; submit to the Authority over me, and obey the commands laid out for me.
The idea of following commandments strikes two struggles for me – obedience and authority. I do not think I am alone in my resistance towards surrendering my will towards another authority. Like many, I often would prefer to be my own god – be my own measure of what is right and wrong and choose my own path in life. After all, I am an intelligent, competent, strong woman who has a high moral ethic by which I follow. Surely the combination of these characteristics makes me quite suitable to be my own guide. And then again, perhaps not.
The life I would direct for myself is a good path. I believe in being a loving mother toward my children, a faithful and devoted wife to my husband, being compassionate towards those experiencing physical and emotional poverty. I have a strong work ethic that directs me to always doing my best and strives to avoid laziness. If I chose to be my own god, I am fairly confident that I would lead a worthwhile life and I would be known for a being a good person. But, I believe we are called to something more than a good life. I believe we are called to belong and be connected to something bigger than ourselves. Here is where obedience and Authority come in to play.
Obedience and submission to an Authority recognizes that there is a Way beyond what I can see and know. Following that Way, despite not fully understanding requires trust. I must recognize that my vision for my life and my understanding is limited. I must trust that what I cannot see is True.
Submission to an authority is counter toward my natural human instinct to keep my shame in hiding. From the time of Adam and Eve, humanity has worked hard to cover up our faults and shortcomings. We are natural deceivers, even to ourselves. It does not come natural for me to enjoy dwelling on all the ways my thoughts and actions have harmed other people (though I am fairly critical of myself when I do make a mistake). I much prefer to ignore my faults and focus on how awesome and great I am. It is easy to become proud and self-serving. As my own god, I do not have to address my ugliness. But in submitting to an Authority I must allow my dirty little secrets to be brought into the light.
Not long ago, I went to Confession to address my envy and pride. Confession is submitting to an authority. It is an act of letting another see the dark corners of my soul, and then submitting myself to their direction for reconciliation. From my vantage points, I saw my pride and envy as keeping me depressed and angry. Ironic that even my attempts at removing this sin from my life was still focused on me. Submitting to the authority and guidance of a priest serving as the Authority’s representative, I soon saw that my envy and pride kept me from being able to love. There is no room for love where envy and pride are present. My sin was not only hurting me, but what I failed to see was how my envious and proud thoughts were harming those around me. They were robbed of being loved – robbed of being treated with dignity and respect because I hated them for having such great things in their lives.
My envy led to a self-indulgent pity party. I focused on what I did not have; focused on the financial stress I experienced. I closed my eyes to the wealth and abundance I do have – a warm house, transportation, jobs, healthy children, the ability to afford health care, a loving spouse . . .. In my self-indulgence, I failed to see the poverty of those around me – to see the AIDS orphan, the hungry, the dying, the lonely, the cold . . .. The more energy I pour into dwelling on myself and/or covering up my ugliness, the less energy I have to pour into others. The world is robbed of compassion and love when I am my own god, my own measure of goodness, and my own director of my soul.
I believe that Christ called us to the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That if we submitted to his commands to love God with all of our being – soul, mind, and body, and if we truly loved our neighbor with a pure heart free of selfish motives to use or manipulate one another, then the Kingdom of heaven would be more visible here on earth. I believe there would be respect for personhood – that all people would matter and have dignity. If we can stop being our own gods and submit to a higher way, I believe poverty would be eradicated. Child abuse, murder, theft, rape . . . this would all go by the wayside. If only . . .. I believe this is the vision of Christ and His Kingdom.
May I follow completely; submit to the Authority over me, and obey the commands laid out for me.
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